“What does ‘deso’ mean?” I hear you say.
‘Deso’, or designated driver, is the happy individual that gets to consume non-alcoholic beverages of an eve where all of their companions get to drink alcohol. To most, this seems like a bad deal. You don’t get to party with your friends and you are tasked with the job of looking after them all night. But don’t be fooled – there is beauty to the deso responsibility, and you should consider this next time you and your mates are trying to pick a deso driver for the night.
You won’t embarrass yourself
The second thought you’ll have the morning after is “oh my god, what did I do last night?” Put your hand up for deso driving and you won’t run the risk of saying embarrassing things to people or falling over in a ditch and waking up with bruises all over you. Reminiscing about the night before won’t be so painful when you have peace of mind that nothing you did was even slightly humiliating. Well done.
You won’t feel like crap
The first thought: “oh my god, am I dead?” You’ve probably experience one or two hangovers in your day, and if you haven’t, well done – tell me your secrets. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing you’re capable of getting up and walking around the next day while your friends spend the entire day inside because they feel sick. You’ll feel productive and get stuff done.
Your friends will owe you
Volunteering to be deso is a great sacrifice. You’re choosing not to party hard in order to get your friends home safe. You’re the real MVP, and your friends will appreciate it. It also means you can hold it over their heads next time you all want to go out
You will save money
And I mean heaps of money. The more you drink, the more reckless you get with your spending. Pretty soon you’re buying your friends drinks and throwing down all kinds of money on alcohol. If you’re the deso you get to give your bank account a rest – non-alcoholic drinks are usually cheaper, and you won’t drink as much if you’re sober.
Your friends will get home safe
The ultimate purpose for the deso driver. At the end of the night your mates are going to load in to the car and demand to be taken home. You are the chariot of safety and responsibility, and there’s a little satisfaction in knowing they aren’t going to hitchhike or pass out in a gutter somewhere.
Being the deso driver is great for a lot of reasons, but none other that you’re making sure your mates stay safe. Everyone should be the deso driver once in a while, and it helps to take a break from drinking at every social gathering. It might be a bit tiring to deal with your mates all night if they’re drinking, but they will appreciate it and they will return the favour when you need it!